Game Date: Feb 12th, 2043

Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts

Team: Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts Trailblazers [ID #826]

Location: North Adams, MA (New England)

Conference: IV.6 [Division 1]

President: sparky
          [since March 25th 2021 | last seen January 20th 2025]

Coach: Clint Cherry

Arena: Amsler Campus Center

Rating: 136.09 - Overall Position: #225

Fan Mood: 112.01

Alumni Mood: 101.05

Prestige: 132

Team Notes:

• Nov 27 2042: 3-star prospect Donnell Jarvis committed.
• Nov 19 2042: 2-star prospect Seth Johns committed.
• Oct 22 2042: Edgar Zamora was hired as the new assistant coach.
• Oct 22 2042: Assistant coach Jacob Hansen was let go.
• Aug 28 2042: Jacob Hansen was hired as the new assistant coach.
• Aug 28 2042: Assistant coach Roberto Marrero was let go.
• Aug 28 2042: Cruz Gallegos was hired as the new assistant coach.
• Aug 28 2042: Assistant coach Damon Holloway leaves to pursue head coaching opportunities.
• Aug 28 2042: Promoted to conference IV.6.
• Mar 31 2042: Roberto Marrero was hired as the new assistant coach.

Record:

Wins: 15 Losses: 18 Pct: .455     Conf Wins: 11 Conf Losses: 12 Conf Pct: .478 Conf Rank: 9     Last10: 4-6 Streak: W2

Pts Ave: 76.5 - 76.8     Pts Diff: -0.3     Team Power Index: 148.5

Press Releases:

Dec 04 2042: December 5th, 2042, Manhattan - by sparky on January 1st, 2025

Dearest MeeMaw,
Yesterday was a most trying day for your dear grandson. The team, in an evocation of the most extreme listlessness, managed to lose to Pace by an unconscionable 58 points. Thereafter, in the locker room, my duty was to deliver a fiery excoriation so extreme in pitch, that I incurred a bloody nose! You would think such a display would galvanize the lads (aside from Cockrell, naturally), and it did, albeit it only temporarily. For one of the new recruits has brought along with him a woman of the gymnosophist variety, and she brings with her a capacity to meddle. Instead of rebuking the players for such a degrading humiliation, she has praised them for enduring it, claiming the ordeal was "a pious cleansing of the ego." Sadly, she is of such a feminine bearing that her words have great sway over them, and I worry that this will have a terrible affect on them moving forward.
Lovingly,
D'Angelo


Nov 22 2042: MCLA NIL Deal the 1st in Hardwood History to Top $1 billion - by sparky on December 29th, 2024

MCLA's blockbuster deal with the insanely handsome Canadian phenom Seth Johns sent shockwaves through Hardwood this morning. Johns, known also for his highly publicized relationship with social media sensation and champion Belarusian gymnosophist Olga Chevinova, will be donning the blue and yellow for a record breaking $1.1billion. Some MCLA insiders worry that the team's finances are already strained due to the spiraling costs of Rich Cockrell's health care. After Cockrell was run over by three steam rollers during a South Boston St. Patrick's Day parade as an infant, doctor's thought he had a less than .4% chance to live, but his unwavering determination defied all odds and eventually landed him a spot on the MCLA squad. The North Adams community has rallied behind the inspirational Cockrell, despite crude jokes made at his expense by you know who.


Oct 22 2042: Whitman @ MCLA -4.5 - by sparky on December 19th, 2024

Although there have been over a million games played in the Hardwood Universe, none will compare to tomorrow's matchup of Whitman v. MCLA in terms of acrimony. In fact, Acrimony Magazine ranked the build up to tomorrow's game as the 3rd most acrimonious phenomenon of all time. Curious onlookers, some of them not even basketball fans, have been gathering at the North Adams' Municipal Air Field to see it all begin, eagerly waiting for Whitman's plane to land. They just want to see the players emerge from its doors, and watch as the MCLA faithful raise their fists towards them, and shout all manner of phrases too unsavory for us to even think about, let alone print here in a family friendly press release. Among the crowd was Olga Chevinova, who traveled all the way from Minsk to witness what she breathlessly described as "the unfurling of hatred so pure and raw that it seems almost to be from another dimension."


Mar 31 2042: An Effort that would make Kermit Roosevelt Proud - by sparky on December 13th, 2024

What initially was thought to be a curious spectacle in the morning sky above North Adams, turned out to be an armada of hot air balloons led by an assistant coach intent on usurping the title of head coach from the now deposed Larry Parrish. The new leader of this program, Clint Cherry, has always been a curious character around these parts. Most fans agree that he looks familiar, but they just can't place him. Either way, he has size 9 1/2 shoes to fill, as the program is ranked 14th most mediocre in hardwood history by El Jefe Analytics. Parrish for his part was able to escape before Cherry got his hands on him. Rumor is he found work helping a local religious community rebuild a damaged dairy farm. MCLA basketball historian Brendan Bittner noted that "Thankfully this was a bloodless coup, unlike when Nolan Pickard was garroted by Sorrentino's militiamen on the campus quad back in 2015."


Mar 06 2042: Power Forward Brendan Bittner Succumbs to the Beauty of Hardwood - by sparky on December 4th, 2024

Last night, after the thrill of seeing Jeff Hodges' miraculous buzzer beater dimmed as does the summer sun when retreating beneath the Berkshires, my soul insisted on a moment of introspection. In those grand final minutes of play, how had I, Brendan Bittner, acquitted myself? Dribbling the ball off my foot, and being swatted at the rim. These considerations led me to two points of realization. One, the game has passed me by, and the time has come to let the more worthy take their place among the MCLA immortals. Two, would there be, in a million games played, a moment of such glory to compare with yesterday? No way, Jose. Therefore, I have decided... [five minutes of hysterical crying] t-t-to leave this game at the most opportune time for precious memories to flower, instead of being trampled by an upset loss. Au revoir, dear friends! The next adventure for me awaits.



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