Game Date: Dec 24th, 2043
US Coast Guard Academy
D`Marcus Jeffries - PG
Team: US Coast Guard Academy Bears [ID #866] 
Location: New London, CT (New England)
Conference: V.11 [Division 2]
President:
Friction
[since April 25th 2022 | last seen March 03rd 2025]
Coach: Jackie Patterson
Arena: Roland Hall
Rating: 135.11 - Overall Position: #227
Fan Mood: 145.50
Alumni Mood: 106.30
Prestige: 66
Team Notes:
• Dec 05 2043: 3-star prospect Jeffrey Horton committed.• Nov 18 2043: 2-star prospect Larry Bryant committed.
• Oct 13 2043: Chet Sampson was hired as the new assistant coach.
• Oct 13 2043: Assistant coach Truman Ridgeway was let go.
• Sep 03 2043: Truman Ridgeway was hired as the new assistant coach.
• Sep 03 2043: Assistant coach Gabriel Walker leaves to pursue head coaching opportunities.
• Apr 06 2043: Lamont Curtis was hired as the new assistant coach.
• Apr 06 2043: Assistant coach Allen Peters was let go.
• Mar 15 2043: Made the division 2 tournament field.
• Mar 15 2043: Won the V.11 conference playoffs.
Record:
Wins: 11 Losses: 8 Pct: .579 Conf Wins: 5 Conf Losses: 4 Conf Pct: .556 Conf Rank: 9 Last10: 6-4 Streak: W2Pts Ave: 79.2 - 73.4 Pts Diff: +5.7 Team Power Index: 140.0
Press Releases:
Oct 09 2035: Warren “G” Moore’s COVID Waiver Denied - by Friction on November 20th, 2023The regulator’s COVID waiver, which would have made him a 6th year super senior, was denied. As a result of his rigorous coursework over the past five years, he will be officially graduating with his Associate’s Degree in Cannabis Biology.
Mar 04 2032: Coach Levine to Shift Recruiting Pitch - by Friction on May 22nd, 2023
After losing out on 4-Star Recruit Lanny Lewis (congrats Mitchell) since recruiting him out of the Adventure Kids Daycare when he was 5 years old, Coach Levine stated that the Academy will overhaul their recruiting pitch going forward. He mentioned he will no longer refer to his experience running the front office staff in his lone year with the 2011-2012 Charlotte Bobcats.
Mar 13 2031: Xavier Harrison Loses NIL Deal - by Friction on April 1st, 2023
After punching teammate Richie Christian in the face as he was entering his Dodge Dart for missing the game-winning shot against Stanford, it has been reported that Xavier Harrison has been dropped from his NIL deal with the “Tequila Mockingbird” pub.
Oct 27 2029: Coast Guard Set to Donate “40-0” T-Shirts After Loss - Prompts Federal Investigation - by Friction on December 26th, 2022
The CG included in their budget this year an allocation of funds to produce “40-0” t-shirts as part of the federal omnibus spending package that was passed in anticipation of an undefeated season. Unfortunately, the team decided not to show up ready to play on Christmas Day and took an L. Coach Levine was available for comment: “Yeah man, Santa didn’t deliver us a defense for Christmas. And the American Taxpayer always gets the shaft for this wasteful spending on these shirts. But I think these busted tees would make for some good cleaning rags. All shirts will be donated at the nearest FML (Face My Limits) charity.”
Mar 08 2029: USCG Academy Vs Whitworth University Post-Game Presser - by Friction on December 6th, 2022
Reporter Adolf Seabishop: “Coach, you guaranteed victory but couldn’t pull it out and most likely won’t make the tournament with a 20-21 record. What’s the message you’re trying to send your team?”
Coach Levine: “Well first, I take full responsibility for how poorly we played today…full accountability, 100%. However, our guys played poorly and I think this loss is on them. Oh and let’s not forget the officiating. 17 of our 18 fouls were offensive charges and the 18th foul was a technical for a flopping call. We practiced that flop to perfection and get rewarded like that? The refs bare some responsibility too for being whistle-happy tonight.”
Adolf: “Are you holding out hope for making the tourney still?”
Coach Levine: “Possibly, 21 losses isn’t too bad. We’re gonna be at Chili’s on 5th street. The ESPN camera crew is invited as I think we will hear our name called on selection Sunday.”