Game Date: Oct 25th, 2042

Johns Hopkins

Team: Johns Hopkins Blue Jays [ID #762]

Location: Baltimore, MD (Mid-Atlantic)

Conference: V.9 [Division 2]

President: Kierkegaard
          [since January 18th 2024 | last seen December 20th 2024]

Coach: Shawn Curry

Arena: Goldfarb Gym

Rating: 80.21 - Overall Position: #448

Fan Mood: 134.96

Alumni Mood: 117.85

Prestige: 60

Team Notes:

• Aug 28 2042: Promoted to conference V.9.
• Mar 22 2042: 3-star prospect Justin Burch committed.
• Mar 09 2042: Made the division 3 tournament field.
• Mar 01 2042: Won the VI.17 conference.
• Feb 13 2042: 2-star prospect Carey Scarborough committed.
• Feb 06 2042: 2-star prospect Bob Rains committed.
• Oct 03 2041: Jean McDermott was hired as the new assistant coach.
• Oct 03 2041: Assistant coach Donovon Dobson was let go.
• Aug 29 2041: Demoted to conference VI.17.
• Feb 21 2041: 2-star prospect Lawrence Oliveri committed.

Record:

Wins: 2 Losses: 0 Pct: 1.000     Conf Wins: 0 Conf Losses: 0 Conf Pct: .000 Conf Rank: 2     Last10: 2-0 Streak: W2

Pts Ave: 94.0 - 61.0     Pts Diff: +33.0     Team Power Index: 137.2

Press Releases:

Mar 22 2042: Title Whine - by Kierkegaard on December 11th, 2024

For John’s Hopkins university insiders the past months have been fraught with intrigue following the appointment of Head Basketball Coach Curry as Dean over the William H. Miller Department of Philosophy. The temperature on campus was raised from a simmer to a rolling boil on Tuesday when an unnamed whistleblower, writing in the student paper, accused Curry of commingling department and team funds.

While addressing local news Wednesday Provost Benson repeatedly declined to speak to the rumors. In his own words:

“I would like to remind you all that the object of today’s press conference is to clarify Mr. Curry’s title and not to address frivolous slander. To that end, the University endorses the use of either “Dean-Coach” or “Coach-Dean”, but roundly condemns the employment of any obscene sounding portmanteaux”.

University donors expect the Board of Trustees to respond in the coming days to demands for an external audit.


Feb 01 2042: Hustle on the Court, Husserl in the Classroom - by Kierkegaard on November 25th, 2024

John’s Hopkins University has announced that Head Basketball Coach Shawn Curry will be acting Dean of the William H. Miller Department of Philosophy, effective immediately.

The move, unprecedented in modern college athletics, has left onlookers puzzled.

Speaking to the media Provost Benson shared the following: “Coach Curry will retain his role as head basketball coach. We consider the synthesis of both roles to be essential to our vision for the department”.

Questions were also fielded concerning whether Coach Curry was qualified to lead an academic department. “In an era of analytics on and off the court, Coach has demonstrated a more continental approach to the game, and that’s exactly what we want in our classrooms”.

The Blue Jays are 27-5 and seeking a NT berth.